"And your faith requires you to be dead?" B prods gently. He has very little in the way of faith in anything left, except the power of soft things, chocolate, and hugs. (God, that sounds corny.) And for the vast bulk of his life, he lived with the sole purpose of surviving, so the idea of giving up your life for faith is almost painful to consider.
Steve would probably understand, though. "You can't have that faith from a new life on some other world out there?"
"That's kinda up to you," B says, tilting his head a little. "If it were me? I'd say, definitely. That's the whole point of a second chance. The whole reason you're here." He shrugs with a small smile. "But me just telling you that, and you believing it-- those're two different things."
"You mean you don't want to believe he'll let you start over somewhere else?" B guesses. "He's done it for other people. My own last inmate, he's off living on a whole new world with his favorite person, now."
"Someone said to me... In this place, his master and his destiny cannot reach him," she answers, seemingly off-topic. "That is all I want, not to take yet another god's hand."
B nods to that. "You wouldn't have to take his hand, really. Could let Iris take you someplace new. Or-- hell, me. We've both got little personal spaceships that travel between universes." Well. Iris's is more a bus than a spaceship. B's is a proper ship, though. "And neither of us are gods."
She blinks. She didn't know that anyone else had their own little boats. She's not sure it truly answers her problems with the Admiral's deal, but it is very interesting information.
"Iris mostly goes on shopping trips," B says with a wry smile. "I haven't gone anywhere with mine yet. I only just got it a few months ago. But we're gonna use it to visit all our friends we've made here over the years, me and Steve."
Sometimes it just takes time and experience to develop your own wants. B knows that much well. It took him a long time before he'd admit to wanting anything at all.
"If you ever wanna take a field trip somewhere," he offers after a moment. "Ship's available for day visits to different places."
"Any time. Even after we're not paired anymore, you need a break from this place, just let me know," B suggests warmly. "I'll even pick the spot if you don't got any ideas but want to see someplace new."
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Re: cw: the religious abuse
Steve would probably understand, though. "You can't have that faith from a new life on some other world out there?"
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In her eyes, she has already died once for this faith, why would she change her idea of faith now? Isn't it too late?
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She does not want to make another pact with another thing so much bigger than herself. It does not matter that the Admiral seems benevolent.
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"Where do you go?"
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"That's wonderful," she nods. She does think it's wonderful for them, even if she struggles to apply it to herself.
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"If you ever wanna take a field trip somewhere," he offers after a moment. "Ship's available for day visits to different places."
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"I will think on it," she decides, rather than seem ungrateful.
Re: cw: the religious abuse