erbier | 💐 tlv inbox

💐 tlv inbox

Shame on us; doomed from the start.

May God have mercy on our dirty little hearts.

I keep many of my flowers, for those who have died.

[He nods, glad of what he sees as shared understanding.]

People don't get what they deserve.

I still think it's nice when they're remembered. With the Black Order it sometimes felt like there were too many deaths to keep track of.

[ People don't get what they deserve. She feels an impulse to tell him otherwise. It is like a knife to the heart, and she flinches a little. To deserve is to exert some little manner of control over things that cannot be predicted nor tamed. Of course, when the bodies pile up so high, there is no justice to be found in it. They had died for nothing, and she had lived, paralyzed at the side of a monster. Every reassurance she could offer was a lie. Her answer is rigid and numb, ]

I had my seeds. And so I planted them.

I've seen divine justice. A man punished by God for his crimes. He did do what he was struck down for. It wasn't the kindness - or cruelty - that people offer for nothing. It was an honest accounting of his actions...

[He squeezes her hand.]

But I don't think he deserved that 'justice'. If I was there again... I'd fight for his survival just as I did then. [Did he deserve to live when he'd sent others to their deaths? Allen doesn't think that's what matters.] You planet the seeds.

It allowed me to accept things that were difficult to accept.

[ She said this once before, but the way it rings in her chest feels different now. ]

[He laughs a little because he'd learned the dangers of crying a long time ago.]

When the Admiral offered me this job... back home, there's stuff that's simply true, so I accept it because it doesn't matter. [Whether or not he accepts it doesn't matter, and there's too much that needs to be done to waste time fighting it.]

Here, I'm not living against a clock [not in the same way]. Sometimes, that feels harder to accept.

It is harder, for a while.

[ She had screamed for days when she was first brought here, had cried for days more. It was all supposed to be over. ]

But then you learn to wake up for breakfast and move on with your day.

You can never stop walking.

[He can't allow it to be over, not without knowing he did everything he could. He hadn't deserved Mana's love, but he'd had it anyway. He makes the choice not to betray that.]

Sometimes, you look around and realize you're not walking alone.

[ He continues to walk, but she has planted her feet. She pulls back on him with a look of bemusement. ]

Sometimes, you should simply lie in the grass.