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[erbier]

Shame on us; doomed from the start.

May God have mercy on our dirty little hearts.

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[erbier]

[ She had proceeded to tell Norton she would cut out his tongue, so.... ]

Of course.

[ She still sounds viciously angry. ]

[crowned_clown]

[He's not sure there's a polite way to say that it doesn't exactly sound like she's OK. Not in the sense of OK he means.

He pauses a moment, he hadn't quite realize until right now that he sees her as a friend close enough that he doesn't feel compelled to step away at that 'of course'.]

Abel's been a good friend to me.

[He doesn't know if her anger is from that or at the callousness of the response - or both, which he would understand. But he knows what he can say for himself.]

[erbier]

Yes. Doctor Hilbert has been a good man to me. They do not deserve to be treated so poorly.

[ Tight-lipped, eyes narrow. ]

[crowned_clown]

Doctor Hilbert has also been kind to me.

No one does.

[erbier]

And yet. They are only humiliated further by clamoring wardens.

[ Her nose wrinkles. ]

I had advised Jacob Seed against this behavior. Against re-enacting his old life.

[crowned_clown]

I still have a hard time navigating the 'network' sometimes. [Even with the time he's been here, it still feels alien. Perhaps too it's because he often finds the discussion on it... very different than how he communicates.] But in a place where people can return from their death, it seems wrong to not let them chose what is said.

[He sighs.] I believe no one is destined to continue to live as they have before, but it can be hard.

[erbier]

[ She stews angrily. Yes, she knows quite well that it is difficult. That was why she had taken the time to reach out to Jacob. She couldn't have expected a miracle, but she had expected that he would think a little harder than this. ]

His punishment is unacceptable.

[crowned_clown]

What do you think would be a good punishment?

[erbier]

[ She looks away, staring coldly at nothing in particular. ]

We do not stay dead here, but he should be reminded not to take his comforts for granted.

[ A waterboarding and isolation might be nice. Or starvation, though she does not actually like to deprive anyone of food. But perhaps he would appreciate his food more after a few deaths. ]

[crowned_clown]

I don't know what's right...

But I hope hurting him isn't what would make him change.

[erbier]

It won't. He knows hurting too well. Why else does he do what he does.

[ Hurting him is for her satisfaction. He harmed a friend of hers and it cannot go without remark. ]

[crowned_clown]

I don't know. I haven't talked to him [so he can only consider it as a hypothetical]. But I've met plenty of people who do stuff because they think it's right, not because they're hurt.

[erbier]

[ She clucks her tongue irritably, ]

He is a believer in a cruel prophecy. One where he has every right to harm others in the name of the Father. One where his own suffering and emptiness will be alleviated in a glorious death.

He is here now, and his Father has been shown fallible.

[crowned_clown]

[He sighs, more than a little rueful,]

He sounds a lot like certain people back home...

You're probably right that the stuff you're thinking of would be a punishment [punishment and consequences aren't the same thing, and it's not like he hasn't been locked up in places where you could say that... comforts were denied.].

I don't think I'd like to be in a place where the people... with more power [if not exactly 'in charge'] would do that. But that doesn't fix anything for the people who were hurt.

[erbier]

It is a task put to wardens, who cannot agree on the nature of their position. But perhaps these things should be left among the inmates.

[ Especially inmates who don't care about graduating, but who still expect a certain decorum. ]

[crowned_clown]

...I think that in this case maybe it should be left to Abel and Doctor Hilbert. Perhaps especially Doctor Hilbert.

[Abel's death was wrong, of course, but he doesn't think it's simple personal bias to think forcing someone into actions they wouldn't choose - unaware - is an even deeper violation.]

If he hurt another inmate... I know you don't see the world as I do [not a lot of people do, really], and I think your way is just as true. Whatever those differences are, you make the world a better place. It doesn't matter if the world deserves it. Don't you deserve better?

[erbier]

[ She frowns at him. There is some nasty, haughty part of herself that knows perfectly well that she makes the world a better place. But that is also the part of her that wants to crush impediments in her fist and feed them to her plants. To control things and put them to order.

She knows that part of herself is ugly. She wishes it would shut up as much as she longs for its aggression and power. ]

I deserve better than to watch my friends used like puppets by a desperate, weak little man. If Jacob Seed cannot behave himself appropriately, then he can burn out under the sun.

[crowned_clown]

[Allen sees it in the gardens. In the life she can bring, when the world is so full of death. Sometimes his head is so full of the twisted faces of tortured souls that it can feel like there's nothing else. Then he can touch the petal of a flower and remember that the world is so much more.]

You do.

[But he sees those tortured faces, and he doesn't think anyone deserves to have to see that.]

I've always liked the rain. Maybe I shouldn't. Through most of my life... bad things happen when it rains. [From the trouble that comes with the lack of audience, to watching blood pool as outside the window a storm rages. But in his dreams it's always the sun leaching away at him.] I like the snow too - and I almost died in it. So maybe I just have it all mixed up.

[erbier]

[ She sighs at him in fond exasperation. ]

Then we will go take a walk in the rain.

[ And maybe that will cool her temper. Maybe it won't. ]

[crowned_clown]

[He smiles at her.]

I'd like that.

...I like to see the moss in the rain.

[He doesn't have a ton of hobbies.]

[erbier]

[ She does not suggest they go visit his world, and of course not her own. ]

The Enclosure will show us whatever we ask to see. A lush forest, perhaps?

[crowned_clown]

Yes, that sounds nice.

Perhaps by a creek.

[erbier]

Let us away, then.

[ She will wait at the door of the Enclosure to hold his hand. ]

[crowned_clown]

[He smiles at her as he reaches the Enclosure. The communicators are very useful, but it's nice to see her in person. He pushes open the door.]

It's been a long time since I've walked in a forest.

[erbier]

I had never witnessed one, before the ship.

[ The strange garden that she tended below the palace had an orchard, but that was not a natural ecosystem. ]